Battered Woman Syndrome

I Googled, PTSD after abusive relationship today. I've found myself telling others about some of my experiences. It's always an odd show and tell, sharing those pieces of myself with someone. There's a part of me that holds onto this sense of shame and self doubt; I become detached from the emotion and I watch... Continue Reading →

Spending Time

I was able to spend time with co-workers today over brunch, and then again later in the afternoon for some salad and quesadillas. It's always interesting getting our office together in one room; conversation is usually easy and it reminds me that we are a work family and that we all have such different and... Continue Reading →

The Nervous Breakdown

She sat cross legged on the carpet feeling the hardness of the floor press into her bum. She could still feel something and welcomed the sensation as she had felt empty for so long. I feel so sad today. Of course, I only write when I'm sad. My personal YELP on life --I'm sad, oh... Continue Reading →

I miss you.

Your beard Your lips Your smile How you looked at me with those green eyes Your hands grazing my backside Your kisses on my neck Your nose kisses How you looked up at me while you wrapped your hand around my knee with that sheepish grin Our goodnight phone calls I dreamt last night that... Continue Reading →

Consume Me

The flames consumed me, Skin tingled and eyelashes melded together; I shut them tight and wait for the pain to subside. I feel hurt. It makes me angry. I want to strap on my shoes and run, Until my heart gives out and I'm only left with a panting primavera of a soul. Let me... Continue Reading →

Reminder to Keep it Up

I can smile with my heart. I feel the warmth creep up into my cheeks and my eyes wrinkle a bit, I know that I have a crease on my forehead --it's time to get a cream for that. Centered, it's easier for me to focus these days. Those "things" I've swept under my rug,... Continue Reading →

Everything I Need

I read somewhere today that depression isn't always a sense of sadness, but sometimes a feeling of nothingness. I've experienced this feeling of nothingness for a very long time, it just became worse with each child I birthed. I've recently embraced it, perhaps, or at least, am attempting to work with it and not let... Continue Reading →

Toes in the Grass

I took of my shoes and let my feet feel the coolness of the grass. The dampness of the soil. I stood in the middle of a parking lot, content in my patch of grass and watched the cars speed by on the road in front of me. This was as close to centering as... Continue Reading →

I get it …

I'm going through a "divorce" -- I've never been married. I have four children. I was with my partner for 8 years. I feel as if someone has died. Since I've never been married, it seems odd to call it a divorce, and hard to explain that it is more than just a "separation", because... Continue Reading →

My Funny Valentine

Took the afternoon from work off, hoping it doesn't come to bite me in the rear. Life has been a bit unbearable on some days. I practice techniques so that I do not feel overwhelmed; breathe in, breathe out, measured and present. I somehow, today, feel quite empty. I have come to recognize that this... Continue Reading →

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